Plenty of reading time

A friend of mine begged me not to document my ongoing bout with food poisoning and the effects it’s been having on my gastrointestinal system, but I figured you guys just HAD to know that during my many lengthy sessions of sitting on the john, I experienced several farts of EIGHT seconds and longer.

One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand, four one-thousand, five one-thousand, six one-thousand, seven one-thousand, EIGHT one-thousand…

Seriously.

Agh, here I go again. Wish me well.